How to Pick a Dildo — Material, Size, Shape, and Use

Dildos are the oldest category of sex toy and the most varied. The choices in a modern catalog cover dozens of materials, sizes, shapes, and use cases. Most of the marketing copy is unhelpful — "lifelike feel" tells you nothing concrete.

This guide covers what actually matters when picking one: material, size, shape, and use case. Skip the rest.

Material

The material determines safety, feel, durability, and care. Get this right and the rest is preference.

Silicone (the default)

Medical-grade silicone is body-safe, non-porous, durable, easy to clean, and comes in a range of firmness. The vast majority of quality dildos sold today are silicone. Cost: $30-150 depending on size and brand.

Pros: safe for long-term use, easy to clean (warm water and toy cleaner, or boil if no electronics), comes in soft / firm / dual-density. Cons: incompatible with silicone-based lube — use water-based or hybrid.

If you're not sure what to pick, silicone is the answer.

Glass

Hand-blown borosilicate glass dildos are nonporous, easy to clean, temperature-play compatible (run under warm or cold water for a sensation change), and last indefinitely with no degradation. Cost: $30-100.

Pros: rigid (good for firm pressure), beautiful, fully sterilizable. Cons: rigid (no give), expensive to break, requires a hard storage case. See the Glass Dildos collection.

Metal (stainless steel or aluminum)

Similar to glass — non-porous, sterilizable, temperature-play compatible. Heavier than glass, which some users specifically want for the sensation of weight. Cost: $40-150.

Pros: durable, weighted, temperature play. Cons: heavy, cold to the touch unless warmed, expensive at the higher end.

TPE, TPR, jelly, "rubber"

Porous materials that can't be fully sterilized. Cheaper than silicone, often softer and more skin-like. Cost: $10-40.

Pros: cheap entry point, soft realistic feel. Cons: porous (absorbs scent and residue over time), harder to clean thoroughly, shorter lifespan, some contain phthalates or plasticizers that can irritate skin.

If you go this route: treat as solo-use only, use condoms over the toy for shared use, replace every 6-12 months.

Size — length and girth, separately

"Size" is two numbers. Both matter, but most people pay attention to length and ignore girth — which is backwards.

Length: measured from base to tip. Insertable length is what matters (subtract the base). Most catalogs list insertable length. A typical mid-size dildo is 6-7 inches insertable. Average penis length, for reference, is around 5.5 inches.

Girth: circumference at the widest point, divided by π. A 5-inch circumference (~1.6 inch diameter) is roughly average. Beginner-friendly dildos sit at 4-4.5 inches circumference.

Girth matters more than length for comfort. Going from a 4-inch circumference to a 6-inch circumference is a major step up that requires gradual progression. Going from a 5-inch length to a 7-inch length is a smaller jump.

For a first dildo, err small. You can always upgrade — going smaller after buying too big is a lost purchase.

Shape

Realistic

Modeled after an erect penis — visible head, veins, defined shaft. Most realistic dildos are silicone or TPE. Cost: $30-100. The King Cock, Au Naturel, and Addiction lines are well-known realistic series at varied price points.

Pros: visual familiarity, anatomical shape often works ergonomically. Cons: not everyone wants visual realism.

Curved (G-spot / P-spot)

A pronounced curve at the head, designed to apply pressure at a specific angle for internal stimulation. The G-spot (for people with vaginas) sits on the front wall about 2 inches in; the prostate (for people with prostates) is similarly located in the rectum. A curved dildo angles into both. Cost: $30-100.

Pros: targets specific anatomy that's harder to reach with a straight shape. Cons: less versatile than a straight dildo — the curve dictates positioning.

Straight, smooth

Non-representational dildos — a smooth shaft without anatomical features. Often glass or silicone. Cost: $30-80.

Pros: visually subtle, often more affordable, the simple shape is versatile across positions and use cases. Cons: lacks the curve or texture some users want.

Non-representational / abstract

Dildos with deliberately non-anatomical shapes — geometric, sculptural, fantasy-inspired. A category that's grown significantly in the last decade. Cost: $40-300.

Pros: distinct shapes produce distinct sensations not available from realistic shapes. Cons: harder to predict what feels good from a photo.

Suction cup vs not

Many dildos have a suction-cup base. Useful for hands-free play — sticks to a flat surface (tile floor, mirror, headboard) for various positions. Suction-cup bases are also typically harness-compatible.

If you specifically don't want a suction cup, smooth-base dildos exist. The suction is optional, not load-bearing.

Harness compatibility

For strap-on use, the dildo needs to fit through a harness ring. Standard harness rings are 1.5 inches or 2 inches in diameter. Most dildos with a wide flared base are harness-compatible, but check the specs.

Silicone dildos with a clear "harness-compatible" label are the safest bet. Glass and metal dildos generally don't work in harnesses (the rigid material doesn't compress through the ring).

What to skip on a first dildo

• Vibration-included dildos for your first. Buy a plain dildo first, learn what works, then add vibration if you want it on a second purchase.
• Anything labeled "extreme" or "monster" sized. Save those for after you know what your actual preferences are.
• Mystery-material dildos under $15. Almost always porous, often contain plasticizers, false economy.
• Sets and bundles. Pick one well rather than three poorly.

Quick FAQ

How do I clean a dildo?
Silicone: warm water and toy cleaner, or boil for 3-5 minutes if no motor. Glass and metal: same, or dishwasher top rack (no detergent). TPE and rubber: warm water and toy cleaner, replace periodically. See the Toy Care collection.

Do I need lube?
For vaginal use, sometimes — depends on natural lubrication. For anal use, always. Water-based or hybrid lube for silicone toys. See the Lubricants section.

Can I use the same dildo for vaginal and anal play?
Yes, with thorough cleaning between (or a fresh condom over the toy if switching mid-session). Never go from anal to vaginal without cleaning — UTI and infection risk.

What's a good first-dildo budget?
$40-80 buys a quality silicone dildo from a reputable brand. Spending more is fine but not necessary for a first toy.

Where do I start if I'm overwhelmed?
A medium-girth, slightly-curved silicone dildo in the 6-inch insertable length range. Works for most users and most positions, has the right anatomy to find a G-spot or prostate, and survives any lube. The Dildos section has the full range filtered by type.